Thursday, 27 October 2011
go back to bed - zoot lynam
The pressure builds up.
We find things. We lose things. I get tired out.
I fluctuate between worrying about how the show will turn out and fizzing with excitement for how amazing I think it's going to be. The dancers are amazing. The music is amazing. The source material is amazing. The vision is amazing. But... can we pull it off?
Sometimes I think we might be being too ambitious. Maybe we should just stop pretending and go back to bed. (At least then I'd get some rest!)
Today we did a first draft of a run through. The complete structure. Mostly I had no idea what I was doing. I had some great flashes of inspiration for what I could be doing. And I learnt that there's some things I can't do. Like be in two places at once. (though I would very much like to).
So many question marks linger over us at the moment, and it is getting so close to our first “performance”. Although it is intended only as a preview, a showing of work in development, it still feels like a lot of pressure.
I am here to serve the work, the piece. My last entry in this blog may have given the impression that I was precious about my role in it – I am not. I was just wanting to explore some immediate feelings to let them out and move on. I am here not as an inner child driven ego wanting all the toys and the box they came in. I am here with that inside, and a higher self who knows that the body of work we are creating is going to be far greater than any of us imagine.
And I trust us to get there.